Bad advice: wedding tips you shouldn't follow
From all those little birdies whispering about how you should be planning your wedding to notaries who tell you that half of all marriages end in divorce (you know, as you’re getting your marriage notarized), there can be a whole lot of negativity in the air as you’re preparing for one of the happiest days of your life.
While there’s a plethora of good wedding advice out there, whether it’s from family and friends, wedding planners or blogs, for every piece of good advice, it seems like there’s also a piece of bad advice. Keep that old saying of taking everything with a grain of salt in mind when it comes to wedding planning advice, because sometimes, what seems well-meaning might just turn out to be the exact opposite.
Here are some examples of wedding advice gone bad from real-life brides.
‘Everyone needs a wedding planner'
It seems everybody has an opinion on whether or not you need a professional wedding planner. For many brides, especially those looking to save a few bucks on a DIY wedding, planners may not be absolutely essential. But others with more extravagant events might benefit from some professional support.
For bride Amy Hefter of Davison, Mich., a wedding planner wasn’t integral to her big day with husband Ken Toczylowski.
"I kept hearing that ‘everyone needs a wedding planner to make things work and that it's impossible to do it all yourself,’” Hefter says. “I found that to be so not true!”
The bride and groom did a lot of DIY decor for their beach-themed wedding, and did it all without the help of a planner. Hefter says looking back, she “wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”
So the question still remains, should you hire a wedding planner? Unsurprisingly, most professional wedding planners say yes. However, many also recommend that brides who think they have it all under control meet halfway and hire a day-of coordinator that steps in on the big day to make sure all the little details are handled.
That was the debate for Milwaukee bride Maggie Griggs, who married college sweetheart Blake Mascarello in September 2016. Luckily, she found that the events coordinator at their venue, the Marcus Center For Performing Arts, was a big help – as was their photographer who offered to help coordinate details.
“Even though people insisted we get a day-of coordinator, paying an actual person the day of did not seem worth it, and it wasn't missed!”
‘Plan your ceremony so that your guests don't have to wait between the ceremony and cocktail hour’
Griggs also recalls a few other pieces of advice that didn’t quite fit into the wedding, like planning the ceremony and cocktail hour close together to avoid having a gap in between for guests.
While the couple did have a 5 p.m. ceremony followed by the cocktail hour and the reception, in hindsight, Griggs would have liked the option of having an earlier ceremony so her and her new hubby could sneak in a few more photos.
‘Don’t worry about a thing – it will be the best day of your life!’
Instead of receiving more helpful advice on wedding day logistics, bride Alison Vincent, who got married last August on Madeline Island off of Wisconsin, was told by numerous friends and family that her wedding day would be the best day of her life.
“It was a wonderful day,” Vincent says, “but I wish that instead of hearing about how it would be the best day someone would have told me about how stressful everything would be, and that no longer how much you plan, things still may not go seamlessly.”
For Vincent, it was the private moments the newlyweds had with friends and family that made up the best parts of the day.
“What I would recommend to people preparing for their big day would be to cherish the time that you aren't in the spotlight and plan for it accordingly,” she says. “These are those times before the ceremony with the bridesmaids or family that get to see you behind closed doors."
‘Decide on a vendor now before someone else books your date!’
While Disco, Mich., bride Megan Rochon couldn’t remember any specific bad advice she was given for her 2015 wedding to Chris Gerbino, she did remember how during wedding planning, she felt pressured into making decisions.
“People were trying to rush me into making important decisions,” Rochon says. “This happened when I was trying to decide on a vendor and was told another bride would scoop up my date, or when I was told to pick a dress I didn't love because the style was being discontinued.”